Thank God for Google and a Screwdriver

Let me just paint a picture of perfection for you…

The washers and dryers in my apartment complex are the devil. I’m not even kidding.

You can put something in and hit cold water, and it comes out the size of American Girl Doll Clothing.. Kirsten style. She was always my favorite.

Anyways that’s just the start of it. If clothes can shrink on delicate in the washer.. even after surviving freshman year in the dorm's washers and dryers -- then there is something massively wrong with the world.

Don’t even get me started on the dryers that are so hot, your sheets come out smelling like singed hair and wet dog. No, I’m not joking. I only wish that I was.

So needless to say, I have to use my bathtub to do a lot of my delicate laundry, and this turns into quite the feat when you have as many clothes as I do.

Anyways.. As I’m soaking my sweaters, I realize that the water keeps looking a little low. I shrug it off and go about doing my other chores around my apartment. I go back into the bathroom and all the water has drained out of the tub without my knowledge. I fill it back up, and do another small load. Again it empties. Ughhh fine I’ll just put some Saran wrap over the drain, that’ll do the trick. It held for a little, but continued to drain. 

What the bleep is wrong with you - devil bathtub?

Being an engineer's daughter, I must find out what is causing this problem. I get out my screwdriver and unscrew the drain-trapper-thingy. Oh for the love of.. EWWW.. hair and conditioner that’s aged for centuries and turned into putrid slime covers the screw. Bleck. Bleck. Bleck.

I wash it all off and pour some Drano down the drain for good measure..

Then comes the googling. “Why is my tub draining even when it shouldn’t be??”

Ahh haw! It must be the linkages inside the wall.. so now I have to unscrew the other part of the bathtub. Okay I can do that... I now sound like a plumber. Thank you Google. 

So I get my screwdriver ready, and begin to lean under my clothes that are hang-drying, and dripping water.. when I say DRIPPING water, I mean giant globules of H2O. Not miniscule raindrops. Fricken monsoon.

Hmm.. Good thing I live in Oregon. I go and get my rain jacket and put it on. Kneeling down in the tub, with my rain jacket on, my hood up, and screwdriver in hand, I realize at this very moment that there is a reason I am single.

I’m just so damn handy, I don’t need no man. All kidding aside, I retreat to unscrewing the lever like it’s my job.

I pry the plate off, pull the linkages up, and the weight is still attached. Great. Nothing is wrong. Why the bleep did I take this apart in the first place? 

Maybe because a nice long bubble bath would be nice every once in awhile you know?

But let me tell you… the metal was brown and blue and the smell coming from the depths below was straight up putrid, my friend.

Nothing was wrong. Nothing. So now I have to screw the stupid thing back on and wash my hands of conditioner slime and old disgusting hair that's probably not even mine. I shiver to think.

There really is no moral to this story. Nothing learned - except that I have too much time on my hands and maybe a little ADD.

At least it’s perfect training for when I own my own home some day.. maybe.

Anyways.

Hope your weekend was better than mine.

I have another horrible date update in the works. Not as bad as the first date I shared, but just as awkward.

x o x o

P.