What the *BLEEP* is wrong with you...

So last night I went on a date... another blind date.. Why I keep putting myself through the awkwardness and nerves I'll never know. No pain no gain I guess.

Let me just start by saying this guy looked pretty normal.. if not slightly attractive. He had nice facial features, he wasn't morbidly obese, or older than my dad and he didn't smell bad. That's a good start right!? Wrong.

The more he talked.. the more I decided he had crazy eyes. Not the kind of crazy, staring into your soul kind of eyes - but the kind that makes your mind say "Run away he's cray!" I even found myself rocking back and forth just trying to pass the time and he kept asking me if I was cold. Nope not cold... just ready to run away.

He talked about his cat.. or cats.. multiple. singular. I don't know. RUN AWAY.

He was more aloof and in his own little bubble than the homeless men on the street.. which kept asking us if we could bum them a cigarette or help them open up a magical door... I kid you not.

Keep Portland weird.

I kept fiddling with my purse and trying to check the time... it has to have been more than an hour right? 10 minutes? GOD DAMMIT. Shut up so I can go home, put on my pajamas and watch food network while I scroll through Pinterest. Shut up. shut up. shut UP! #singlelife

Now let me just preface this by saying this is how the night started. Mystery date texted me and asked "Dive bar or Classy bar". I thought he was joking so I let him feel masculine and I said "You pick, surprise me!" Wrong. All Wrong.

Ladies, for the love of all that is right in this world. Pick the one you want. Don't let them pick.

When I arrived at the bar he had chosen... yep.. You guessed it. It was a shit-hole.

I mean, I guess if you let them pick it is very telling of how they treat their mothers and how they will treat you right? Reverse psychology? Yah.. Let them pick and then run away promptly if it's worse than a fraternity house on a Sunday morning. Just run the hell away.

I sat down and eagerly stuck my hand in what appeared to have the consistency of a loogie. Man.. from that moment I should have faked a stomachache.

This guy stared off into space and talked about nonsense for an hour. Never once did he ask me anything interesting and the amount of awkward silence was palpable.

I would ask him something like "How do you like your job" and he would answer "It's good.. I don't have mean bosses. I eat lots of hospital food." LONG SILENCE.

Me: Ohh that kind of sucks.. do you miss real food?
Him: No not really. Don't have to grocery shop.
SILENCE
Me: What did you do today?
Him: I went go-carting with Jeff.
...
Me: Who's Jeff?
Him: My good buddy.... *staring off into outer space*
...
Me: *Chugging my PBR so I can get the hell out*
Him: How was your day?
Me: *Thank god he finally asked me something* It was good! So glad it's Friday! Ready for the weekend.

Him: I had today off.. and all week pretty much.
Me: Oh that's cool! Doing anything fun with your other days off?
Him: Hanging out with Jeff.

 

At this point I decided he might be into his friend Jeff and I just better cut my losses. Yep.. that must be it. The only two things he's brought up are Jeff and his cats. RUN.

At this point I just faked being really tired.. yawning.. oh man I'm really tired I better get going. Childish, maybe but I was sick of staring at every passerby with a look of "Help me I'm dying" plastered all over my face.

He seemed indifferent and only slightly bummed.. asking me if I would catch a second wind..?

No sir. Not a second or a third or a forth wind. Never have I been so stoked to Food Network it up and scroll through Pinterest.

Next time just run far far away... Text SOS to a friend and have them save you. Cut your losses now before it's too late. If the conversation is worse than pulling teeth, and they are more aloof than a drugged up homeless person just cut your losses early.

That's my word of dating advice for you this weekend. Date on and be happy being single. You could be stuck with crazy eyes.

xoxo
P.

Ice Cream & Sunshine

This is my week recap so far... Since I don't have "real" weekends, today would be considered my Sunday, and tomorrow would technically be my Monday.. Are you thoroughly confused yet? Good me too. 

                               

So here's my happy little face in the sunshine... (#selfie?) It's okay. It's nice out so selfies are okay right? .. The sun doesn't shine much in rainy PDX BUT my "weekend" has been amazingly sunny and I got to go out on my balcony and sunbathe with my dog who is currently trying to sit on my computer while I type.. Stop it! 

                    

Wait.. I bet you wish you could lay that comfortably in the sun all day long. I know I wish I could! Churro my little chihuahua is so hilarious. He LOVES the light breeze and the sunlight beaming onto his back so he lays out on my balcony for hours when the rain decides to let up. 

This is him being a good little co-pilot while I ran my errands to Dutch Bros for coffee and then to Trader Joe's to get some fresh fruit and veggies for the week. 

Look at that little derpy face he's making. Such a happy co-pilot he is! Until he decides to climb on all facets of me while I'm trying to navigate a tight turn. He's great at timing. Let me tell you. Once I start to turn, he jumps into my lap and puts his paws with all his weight onto my arm so I have to support him and turn my steering wheel at the same time... If you need help with coordination while driving feel free to borrow my dog. He'll challenge your driving skills for sure.

This is him navigating our walk later.. such a good lil guy. Barking at everyone he sees *facepalm*. He embarrasses me by thinking he's the biggest dog in the world. 

THIS is the sunset from my run the other night. It was so breathtakingly gorgeous I had to stop and take a few pictures. Embrace the little things like sunsets in life. Just being outdoors really helps me stay balanced!

This is the proverbial "I'm almost done with my run" shot I took. Also, these are literally THE best running pants!..? is that a word.. workout pants?.. hmm.. anyways these are the best I've ever had! They are from the NIKE employee store and I love them! That's probably not helpful at all for those of you that really want to know what kind of NIKE workout pants they are.. If you ask I'll go look at the tags but at the moment I'm in the blogging zone soooo.. that'll have to wait :) 

But wait... after my run/walk I really wanted to make red velvet cupcakes.. but a healthier version so I used this recipe and made these DELICIOUS cupcakes. Seriously good stuff! I ended up using store bought cream cheese frosting, even though the cupcakes are Vegan.. Sue me. They're delicious. You won't regret making them. Well you will.. Once you eat 3 in one sitting. Then you'll give them all to your co-workers to scarf down while you watch, sadly. But then you can make some more. I promise. 

and then.. I felt guilty for making cupcakes so I chopped up a bunch of veggies, added some salt, pepper, olive oil and italian seasoning and popped them in the oven at 450 for 20 minutes. SO YUMMY. Now these you don't have to feel guilty about. Well maybe you do if you're me and you made "extra" veggies for the week and then you ate them all for dinner. Wait.. is there a pattern here? No never.. I don't have any problem eating my veggies.. or two servings of veggies. #yolo. Is that an appropriate use of that acronym?.. jk. but really. You only live once so eat your vegetables! :)

The next day I decided to run some hills.. Gotta make up for your cupcake addiction somehow.. ammiiright?. Mine included some Switchfoot (their new album is bomb) and of course some more shoe selfies.. because what says motivation/progress like stopping to take pictures of your feet and having everyone driving by stare at you like you're crazy. It's okay. I'm used to it. 

Speaking of running and being healthy and scarfing down cupcakes for dinner... Yesterday was free scoop day at Ben & Jerry's. There was a live band playing and everything.. and by band I mean these 50 year old men dressed in tie dye shirts got this sweet gig playing music to a line of hungry people who wanted free ice cream.. 

Woo! Ice Cream.. As you can see I eat fast. To be fair, it was melting! I got chocolate chip cookie dough. #yum.. Okay I promise I'll stop using hashtags. It's really obnoxious I know.

But look how delicious it looks. Round two anyone?

Then.. we decided to go to Buffalo Exchange *Swoon* I love that place. Sadly, this was all I found. I know you're probably thinking to yourself WTF is that.. Well, it's a badminton necklace and I thought it was cool.. Also, I partially bought it for my mom because she had these vintage birdies laying around our house.. or as my mom refers to them "Shuttlecocks".. My friend and I had a good laugh because of that word. I know I know it's potty humor.. Whatevs. still funny. I dare you to say shuttlecock without smirking. Not possible. 

Anyways! when I was visiting home last time, by dog decided to chew up my mom's vintage shuttlecocks.. Oops. To my defense they were made of real bird feathers (thus the name birdie for us modern folk). So.. Whoops. He ate it and I felt really bad. I found all the pieces of her antique lying under the dining room table and I run up to my mom and say, "I'm really sorry Churro ate this!" .. then my dad comes into the room and says, "What the heck was that?" and then I say, "Mom's antique birdie!".. My dad looks confused like he's never seen it in his life.. 

Bless his heart, he doesn't really notice things very often. Like when my mom paints or re-arranges the furniture. Most of the time he won't notice for months on end, and then one day, out of the blue he'll exclaim "When did we get this?!" or "Where did that thing go?" or "Has this always been this color?". Yup. That's my dad for yah. He's the type of person, that you say, "Hey, do you notice anything different about me?" (when you've just cut your hair differently) and he'll say something pithy like, "Yah, your face looks weird" or "Nope, you're still here". Okay thanks Dad. NEVERMIND. 

And that's my story for the day. A little recap of my life in pictures and words. 

xoxo

P.

OHHH Happy Friday

Raise your hand if you're happy it's Friday! (Raising all my hands and toes)... Even though I don't really get "real" weekends {I'm a manager in the retail world} **sigh**

It's okay though. I love fashion so it's worth it. Anywhooo this week has felt like the most colossal week EVER. I learned that I am being transferred to help manage another store that is at least a 40 minute commute away from where I currently live.. My current commute to work is give or take 5 mins... **another sigh** SO what does this mean? 

This means I shall be moving AGAIN for the 3rd time that I've lived in this beautiful city.. **enter yet another sigh** Moving is just all mess and no order. I hate having my life packed away into boxes. It's just sad and makes me want to throw everything in le dumpster out back. No joke. All my beloved Ikea furniture and cute Target throw rugs... all of it. 

I also hate moving because well.. it just plain sucks. You have to find a new place, pay all that money and then get reacquainted with new groceries stores, and gas stations, and Targets. Good 'ol Target. It's my trusty friend when I need a little retail therapy from working in the retail world. Ironic? Maybe a little bit. But that little red bullseye just makes me so darn happy.

SO moving will be soonish.. Still haven't worked all those details out, but the rest of my week was a whirlwind too. I tried to find ways to relax and keep my brain sane in all the changes that are happening. I went on a long walk the other day and it was GORGEOUS out. I also went on a run the other day... Whoa BAD idea. I've been trying to get over this head cold and I literally wheezed for hours after I got back from the worst 2 miles I've ever run. Whoops. My B. 

My bun decided to be a lil lopsided bun and wouldn't sit straight for the life of me. So I rocked it instead. 

I listened to some Mumford and Sons on my trusty lil record player while my dog barked at it for about an hour. He thought someone was in my room singing and it freaked him out. 

Anyways.. I work again tomorrow and Sunday, but Fridays always feel a little special for me. It's like the period at the end of a sentence. It's my reset day. I get to take a deep breath (and a few sighs) and reflect on my week. It's kinda nice.

This also leads me to my future thinking and goals. I don't think I'll be going back to school like I said in earlier posts.. I'm going to keep on trucking and make the best with what I've got. I'd rather build my real life skills and become great at something. Even if it takes a little longer and even though it might mean sacrificing a few weekends. 

I'm just going to pause for the little moments and the little joys in life a little more often. I think we all should. <3

So take a deep breath. It's all going to be okay..

xoxo

P.

Sunday Funday

Ello there!

On Saturday, I finally got off work at a decent time and I was free to enjoy the sunshine that decided to come out and play.. It literally monsooned all day until I got off work. Lucky break I guess!

Anywho! I went out for a little bit to grab a few drinks with friends in NE Portland, and then I decided to head home early because I felt like I was coming down with something.

Sunday morning I woke up and I was completely sick :( Head plugged up, nose plugged up, feelin icky.. I rallied though because I was going to a Blazer game! Woo! My first one since moving to Portland last year! I took enough Dayquil and Sudafed to cure a cow (not really.. but almost) I needed to feel better..

Here's the Moda Center (Still think it should be called Rose Garden) If you're from PDX you would understand... anywaysss... Here it is in all it's glory! Bright lights and 7 feet tall men dribbling that ball down the court. Go Team! (Obviously I watch sports often.. I try).

And in the middle of the game I had to use the bathroom soooo bad I couldn't wait any longer.. I got out of my seat and did the little dance where all the people next to you have to stand up so you can walk by.. PS: Whoever invented that seat design was silly. I still don't understand why everyone must stand so you can walk by. I feel so ridiculous making people stand up, so what do I do? I hold it until my bladder feels like it's gonna explode. TMI? Whoops sorry bout it. 

Anyways, I made sure to take my ticket with me to memorize where I was sitting. I am HORRIBLE with directions. I get turned around easily, don't know left from right, and can't tell you which way is North or South. Don't ever ask my for directions.. I will literally point you the wrong way on accident.

So I get up, try to memorize every food-stand I walk by, finally find the bathroom, full of drunk girls staring at me, do my business, and then venture out to find my seat...

I walk into the Section my ticket says, it doesn't look familiar, so I walk back to another section that does, ask the lady where my seat is and she points me back over to the entrance that's mine and I walk back in..

Still lost, I ask the man at the front where my seat is, he points to it, and my friend looks back and laughs a little. Oops.. Why am I so embarrassing? aghh I thought I would recognize the people that were sitting next to me but I guess I didn't memorize the back of their heads well enough.

Woe is me. This is my ridiculous life. Stupid directionally challenged life. Why am I so embarrassing and awkward. 

The end. 

xoxo

P.

Things I Love Friday

{Things I love love love}

In no particular order these are the things I've been loving lately.

1. Carrie Bradshaw and all things SATC (Sex and the City). Need I explain? This lady is truly inspiring. In her daily life she has been designing shoes for Nordstrom... Watch THIS video and tell me you aren't inspired. Seriously wish I was SJP on a daily basis. Great shoes, fun job, and awesome style. So much love for that woman.

2. Vintage Frames. I have this weird obsession with frames. I go to antique stores or even Target and I literally can't stop picking up frames. I don't even have enough pictures to put in all of them (#selfies don't count as pictures you can display in your house do they??! No?.. Darn it).. Anywho.. I love me some frames! Especially some white, antiqued, shabby chic'ed ones.

3. Beach/ Beach pictures. LOVE. Just LOVE the beach. I don't know what my obsession with the beach is but it's real. I live in the Pacific Northwest where it rains and it's cold.. Like WTH was I thinking? Give me some sunshine and a bikini and I'm set. I live for the sunny days where all I have to wear is shorts and a tank top. 

4. Bows! Obsessed.. They are so freakin adorable. I like sticking 'em in my hair and dressing up my buns or ponytails. I know I already look like I'm permanently 18 so why not play it up while I can? Makes me feel like I'm in Disneyland or frolicking around the woods like a Disney princess. Juvenile? Sue me. I love me some bows.

5. Giant puffy headboards. Wait.. That's not what they're called? Meh oh well. Whatever they are called I love them. They look so comfy and glamourous.. Also, considering my headboard I bought from Target awhile ago.. months ago.. Will not attach to my bed frame. So it just hangs there and sometimes almost falls on my head. Whoaaa what? Yah.. Cheers to being a single adult.. Any men wanna come fix it for me? :) haha jk.. I'll leave it just hangin there until I can get my hands on one of these fluffy headboards. At least it'll be safer if it falls on me. Right?

6. Revlon lipstick. Hey it's 7.99 and you can roam the aisles of Target searching for it. That's a good enough excuse right? I've been loving the light pink colors. Makes me feel like it's summer. Paired with my little bows, and I'm good to go. Go get yourself some lip smackers... wait it's not the 90s anymore.. Some lipstick. Go get yourself some lipstick, you twenty-something-beauty-queen.

Okay.. I'm done. SO glad it's Friday. I work Saturday BUT I get to go to a Blazer game on Sunday! Holla. 

Tah Tah for now.

xo

P.

Do Something

Hey fellow bloggites... Bloggers... uhhh I donno why I said bloggites. Is that awkward? Welp.. that's Paige for yah.

Anyways, it is currently 10:11am and I have to be to work at 11am and I'm just sitting in front of my computer and kind of forgot I should probably go make my lunch and get dressed or something like that.

Well, the world has a funny way of saying things to me.

I literally can't stand my job anymore (I know, I know depressing) BUT in my last post I commented about how I wanted to apply for grad school for teaching. Well folks, I started the application process, accidentally sent the dean 5 emails. I think she thinks I'm cray now. Oops.

I also scheduled a meeting with her this morning, forgetting how horrible traffic is in the mornings.. so I had to re-schedule. Then I learned that I don't have the pre-requisites for the program I wanted to do :( Sad day, right?

Well I guess this gives me time to think.. I could take the pre-reqs and decide if teaching is really for me, or I could get another job and struggle for a bit.. #postgradprobs

Kids - Don't EVER graduate from college. The real world ain't what it's cracked up to be. (I'm starting to sound like an old man.. eeeesh)

As I'm driving home from work at 10:30 last night.. Yep, PM.. Ugh. Working late blows, man.
I'm pulling up to my drive and in my mind I'm just thinking, "What in the heck were you thinking, Paige? Why did you think you could make a career out of retail?"

I guess the world had a way of showing me how miserable I was yesterday. Showing me never to settle for something that pays the bills.. Never settle for 'good enough'.

But it's had me thinking... what SHOULD I be doing? What am I passionate about? I know it's not this life that I'm living right now.

I wish for so much happiness and success but I still can't find it. Maybe I'm searching in the wrong places? I suppose.. But I really hope I find a glimmer of hope soon. I feel like I'm a sinking ship and I'm stuck.

Anyone else feel like this?

Wahhh Wahh Wahh


Okay I'll get off my soap box now..

Happy post coming to you soon.

xo
P.

More Bloggin

Hiiiii Readers!

Jk.. I don't really have any yet.. Probably because I don't write enough.

I'll have to fix that.

Welp here goes..

So, lately I've been really down in the dumps. I hate where I'm living. I hate my job. I hate working weekends. I know what you're thinking. That's a lot of hate. But sometimes you have to hate something to motivate yourself to do better..

 No? That's not how most people operate. Well that's how I operate. It's okay I promise I'm actually a pretty positive person.

Anyways.. This lead me to think about my two choices I have.

My Bachelors degree is in Merchandising Management which means I can be a store manager/ manager (I'm currently an asst. manager) and work weekends for the rest of my life, or I can become a buyer.. which is extremely hard to break into unless you've worked in a buying office. Which leads to many of years in retail before that's even possible. See my conundrum?! My best bet is to get my Masters degree and have a life and a job I love. I of course, choose the latter.

I've decided I want to go back to school and get my Masters in Teaching so I can be an Elementary school teacher.

Putting all that down in words just made it real for me.. Yikes. Dreams are scary, but if you don't put in the hard work you'll never get to where you wanna go. So dream big my readers.

Do something you're scared of or think you'll fail at... because chances are, you'll succeed :)

Hope you're all having an awesome St. Patty's day.

Lots more to come..

xoxo
P.